The Epitome of Failure A Russia and Sealand fic
by hetalia27
Summary: Yep, A Russ/Sea fic . It's my first Hetalia fic, and its a couple that has so few stories. I'm hoping to make it a series and hope you all like Ame. Summary: Peter knew marriage, and love in general isn't easy, so why did he marry Ivan of all people? PERMANENT HIATUS 8.01.12.
1. Sealand's Memories

**Sealand's Memories.**

"Ah~" An annoyed Peter sighed walking out of Ivan's house. Ivan had yet _again _gone off and asked every nation in sight to, "Become one with him" at the latest world meeting. Obviously Peter was annoyed but his daddy was even more annoyed than he was. Alfred, though, he too, didn't accept his son as a nation, allowed Peter and Ivan to get married about a year ago.

Yes a year, that's what made Peter even more annoyed. He may be young, but he was faithful. If he wasn't Raivis and him would have been in each other's pants a million times by now. But no Peter, for some strange reason, unknown to even him, had feelings for the big terrifying nation that Ivan is. Although it helped that, that jerk Arthur was afraid of Ivan.

But alas, even though Ivan was the one who asked to marry the young naive micronation, he was still almost always intent on asking other nations to "Become on with him." That always made Peter upset.

Peter, who was walking in the harsh cold weathers of Russia, found himself in the middle of a town, which was completely empty of life on the outside. But from the windows of the houses, one could tell, in the warmly lit houses, people were living happily. This made Peter miss his home of Sealand. Sealand, though small with few people, was always warm and had an air of carefree, calm, hardworking, peace. The sun would graze down on the few people living there and everyone was like a big family. Mostly because there were so few people living there, and most of those people were probably actually family.

"Ah~" Peter sighed again, he was getting tired of Russia asking and asking people to become part of him. Was Peter not enough? Could Peter not _please_ the older nation? But then again, from the start Peter, felt as if Ivan only asked Peter to marry him because of the fact he likes to pick on smaller nations. Once Ivan was bored of Raivis, his new target was poor Peter. But why had Peter accepted in the first place?

Peter leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was shivering under his heavy winter coat matching that of Ivan's, only it was a blue and white color, like his sailor uniform. And once again Peter sighed, thinking about the whole Ivan/Peter "love."

**~FLASHBACK~**

It was yet another world meeting, and Peter happily walked into the room. He saw a whole bunch of nations, nations like, Feliciano, Lovino, Ludwig, Kiku, Francis, Papa Alfred. Ugh and that jerk Arthur was there, and he was talking to Papa Alfred. Instead of going to sit next to Papa Alfred like usual, Peter took a seat on the other side of the table.

Peter put his head on the desk and swung his legs (his legs didn't reach the floor yet), and he hummed a tune he heard. Slowly more people started entering the room, and normally Peter would greet them all, but today he didn't quite feel up to it. Normally he'd talk to his dad and get all hyper, but today he just didn't feel like dealing with that jerk Arthur. Soon Peter found himself drifting off into a deep sleep.

"-ey. The meetings over, wake up little nation," Peter heard a voice and felt himself being shaken.

"Nng, Five more minutes Papa," Peter said and buried his head in his arms.

"Papa? You mean that idiot American? I'm not him little one" said the voice, and he kept shaking Peter.

"Huh?" Peter said raising his head, meeting face to face with the most menacing of the nations, Ivan of Russia.

"You're awake, da?" asked Ivan, Peter, realizing now who he was speaking to tensed up slightly, mostly since he just called the man Papa.

"Oh, u-uh, yes sir." Peter said and slowly inched to the edge of his chair.

"Well, don't worry about sleeping through the meeting, nothing happened little nation," Ivan said and smiled menacingly.

"O-oh, um, okay," Peter stuttered. Alfred, who was watching from afar decided to come into the conversation.

"Ivan! Want to go get some burgers and fries, oh and maybe some soda? We could go to McDonald's and_" Alfred was cut off.

"No, in Russia we do not eat crap like that. It is unhealthy and disgusting, and we'll get fat," Ivan smiled at Alfred.

"Well, it is bad for you," Peter muttered to himself.

"Oh? Then what do you eat in Russia?" asked Alfred, Ivan smiled.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol," Ivan chuckled thinking about his homeland. This caused Alfred to get creeped out and Peter just sat there.

"Well then, small nation, and American, I will see you again, da?" Ivan said as he left. Alfred shuddered.

"That dude is creepy. Peter, stay away from him, okay kiddo?" Alfred said to his son, who just shrugged and went on his merry way home.

**~Back to Peter Sitting on His Random Bench~**

That was the first time that the two had actually talked, and it might have been the fact that Ivan called him a nation, even though he said little or small, he said nation nonetheless. It mad Peter happy. Also, from then Ivan had visited him and talked to him more. It was like slowly, though the nation still somewhat scared him, they became friends.

The two nations became closer as time went on; Ivan would every now and then glare at people who called his buddy, anything but a nation. They talked, and got to know each other better. And strangely for Peter, he felt somewhat attracted to the older and bigger nation. And then they started dating.

It was awkward and kept low key, but they were dating. Ivan then was more faithful and went a while without asking anyone to "Become one with him" and it was a good time. The two would talk, and occasionally do other things, which made it awkward for Peter. Alas they did it and after a while it felt normal to do things with each other. Then one day out of the blue Ivan proposed. At one of the strangest times none the less.

**~Another Flashback~**

"And that's why German's aren't good lovers!" Alfred finished his rant on how nations should fix their flaws and how they have their flaws. But upon this rant, he got glares from everyone, and a death glare from Ivan, when he called Russian's alcoholics. Peter was sitting in-between Ivan and Alfred, swinging his legs, poking Ivan's hand. Ivan was not bothered with the notion, seeing as how Peter often did it when he was bored.

"Well, all American's are fat asses, how are you planning to fix that?" retorted an angry Ludwig.

"I resent that; American's are the heroes of the world!" Alfred said, slamming his hands on the desk.

"Oh? So when you 200 pounds overweight will you still be the hero?" asked Ludwig.

"Not if he eats Arthur's crap cooking," said Feliciano, who was none other than eating pasta.

"Hey! My cooking is not crap!" Arthur growled angrily at Feliciano.

"Yes it is~" Peter chimed in, seeing as how he ate it every night, unfortunately, since the nation was married to Peter's father.

"I have an announcement to make, so shut up," Ivan said standing up and smiling his weird menacing smile.

"…" no one spoke; they all just looked at Ivan.

"Peter and I are getting married, da?" Ivan said, "That is all," and sat down. Everyone just stared at the micronation and his "fiancée."

"WHAT? NO NEVER! THE HERO WILL NOT AGREE TO THIS!" Alfred screamed at the two.

"It is not you choice," Ivan glared at Alfred, while smiling.

"I'm Peter's father! I have say!" Alfred said pointing at Ivan.

"Da. But Peter is actually the one who gets to choose," Ivan said.

"And _you _agreed?" Alfred asked his son.

"I_" Peter started but was cut off.

"Why would you possibly I agree?" Alfred asked bewildered.

"But I_" one again being cut off, Peter gave up.

"Why would you want to marry this… this PEDOPHILE?" asked Alfred.

And the rest of the meeting hours went one dragged and longer than it should have been.

**~Back to Peter in the Now~**

Peter laughed to himself at the silly memories, they made him laugh. And soon after the forceful proposal the two were wed. Peter refused to wear a dress, so the two both wore tuxes. Then Peter moved to the harsh weathers of Russia. He was happy to be there for many reasons. He found someone he cared for, who hopefully cared for him as well. Also he was reunited with a close friend, Raivis, who was tortured by the husband.

Peter sighed again, looking around, he was young, but he at least understood, you should come after the person after a while of letting them be alone to cool off. Alas, Ivan did not come after him. Peter sighed and started walking back to Ivan's house… his house.

"I'm home," Peter said as he walked inside the house, spotting no one. He wasn't surprised when he saw the time, it was about three a.m. Peter sighed and shrugged off his jacket and hung it up. Then he walked into his room, spotting Ivan lying in bed and reading. Ivan looked up and spotted his "wifey."

"Welcome home. I take it you cleared you head, da?" Ivan asked, Peter looked at him and nodded, sitting on the bed and taking off his snow boots.

"For the most part, you baka." Peter said still upset.

"You're still upset?" Ivan sighed and looked at Peter, who wasn't facing him.

"Maybe" Peter said, as he undressed and changed into his Pajamas.

"Peter, you know I love you best, da?" Ivan asked in a seductive tone, though he was normally terrifying, he enjoyed play seductive too. He mostly did it when he made Peter upset or angry.

"Oh don't. Just please don't, try that with me now. You just asked frickin Wang to become one with you, and now you're trying to get laid. No. I'm tired of it. Not tonight," Peter said angrily. He was always slightly afraid of the bigger nation, but since they've been married, and because he's stubborn and doesn't like to shut his mouth, he recently hasn't been as afraid of getting on Ivan's bad side.

"Oh? Then what do you suppose?" Ivan asked, now also getting angry, but not showing. Peter glared, grabbed a pillow and walked to the door.

"I'm sleeping with Raivis," Peter said and walked away, leaving a shocked Ivan in his room, and Peter went and slept in Raivis' room that night.

It was just another memory for Peter.

~ The end for the chapter because I typed a lot!

~ I'm sorry if it's bad, or too OOC.

~ Reviews are loved, appreciated, and I will reply to them!


	2. Oh, What the Hell?

**Oh, What the Hell?**

That morning was an awkward morning for a certain nation under the rule of Ivan. Raivis woke up that morning finding a certain Peter sleeping on the floor next to his bed. In a panic a flustered Raivis ended up tripping when attempting to get out of bed and feel on top of Peter.

"Ouch," Raivis said, sitting up and looked at his best friend, whom he was now on top of. Peter, had just woken up, and obviously was oblivious to why he was in the room… Until he remembered last night.

"Hey Rai!" Peter said, looked up at his best friend and gave him a big smile. Raivis awkwardly looked at his best friend.

"What are you doing in my room Peter?" Raivis asked, and before he could get answer from his best friend the door opened. At the door stood Toris, Eduard, and of course, Ivan. Everyone could sense Ivan's evil aura appearing out of rage, but Raivis and Peter didn't know why.

That's when it hit them. Their position.

Peter was sitting on the floor, pajama shirt unbuttoned (for some reason, he got hot last night and unbuttoned it) and a shirtless Raivis on top of Peter, sitting casually on his stomach.

An all so flustered Raivis rushed to get off his best friend, and in the end tripped on his blanket, winding up crashing back on top of Peter. This caused Raivis to hit his head on Peter's shoulder.

Oh this was turning out to be a wonderful day. Not.

**~Breakfast~**

Everyone sat at the breakfast table awkwardly, sitting normally. Peter sat to the right of Ivan, who sat at the head of the table. To the left of Peter was Raivis (much to Ivan's content). Across from Peter and Raivis sat Eduard and Toris.

The five ate in silence, and awkward and eerie silence, seeing as how Ivan's evil aura still lingered. Peter sighed, this was not how he wanted to get his morning started, but on the upside it made him happy to know that his husband was jealous and angry at what he saw this morning. He really does care!

Peter coughed, "So, this is awkward, eh?" he offered as a topic to start a conversation, like one they had every morning.

"… Y-yeah. But on the upside, I hear that Russia's going to get warmer soon, you know, the summer and all," Toris offered.

"Oh really? I won't have to wear a huge jacket so often anymore?" Peter asked happily as he swung his legs and chewed his toast.

"Y-yes," Raivis nervously said, seeing as how Ivan was glaring at him, "It'll be easier to take off." Saying this caused Peter and Toris, who were both chewing on something, to choke. Ivan slammed Peter's back, and Eduard tried the same on Toris.

"W-water!" Peter choked out, and Raivis passed him water, only to have it end up tipping over and spilling all over Peter's pajama pants. Ivan, saw this and held back a chuckle and handed his "wifey" water, which Peter chocked down.

"Rai, you… you're so. Ugh!" Peter said and shook his head burying it in his hands.

"But! I meant, since there are so many buttons on your bigger jacket it's a hassle. I didn't mean anything dirty!" Raivis said in a panic.

"Raivis, I think it time you stop talking," Eduard said, offering the best advice in the world.

"Excuse me. I'm done," Peter said shyly, getting up, his pants sagging because of the water conveniently located on his crotch, and walked away to his room.

Upon entering he took off his pants and threw them on the bed, causing it to get slightly damp. Peter sighed as he took off his shirt and also tossed it on the bed. Then decided to sit on the bed as well, putting his head on his hands. This day was only getting better and better.

To make things even peachier, right as Peter was about to stand up, Ivan walked in. Ivan smirked as he saw his spouse in only his boxers and blushing.

"Wha-What! You don't knock?" Peter asked flustered grabbing his shirt, which was next to him, and attempting to cover up.

"This is my room as well, da? Anyways, what have you to cover up? I have seen everything already," Ivan smirked, causing the smaller nation so blush more.

"Y-you pedophile!" Peter stammered out.

"Oh? You weren't complaining before if I am correct, da?," Ivan smirked even wider. Peter just grew redder.

"Well before I wasn't angry!" Peter said. Ivan frowned.

"You're angry? What am I then? Finding my spouse, on the floor with another man, in my own house none the less?" Ivan questioned.

"Well, well that was a misunderstanding, we weren't doing anything. Raivis was asleep when I went to bed, so I didn't tell him, and he fell on me this morning. That's all! I wouldn't cheat, or attempt to," Peter said.

"Yes small nation, I know. I'm just making sure," Ivan said, patting Peter on the head.

"You're a bully," Peter blushed, look down at the floor.

"And I love you. Only you little nation. When you are not happy, I'm not happy. Please don't think otherwise, okay?" Ivan smiled at the smaller nation, who was blushing.

"Okay," Peter said and blushed. Ivan tilted Peters head up and kissed him. At that exact moment, the most perfect thing was bound to happen, right? Well you are.

"The HERO has come to Russia!" Alfred announced, barging into Peter and Ivan's room, right at the moment when they started kissing.

Peter noticed his and struggled under the bigger nation, who didn't seem to care.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Alfred said obviously disgusted at the sight of, his son, whom was only wearing boxers, being dominated by a so often called "pedophile". Oh what a day.

"Do you American's not know that it is rude to walk into a person's room without knocking? I could have had my way with Peter in the time it took you to be an idiot and walk in," Ivan smiled his evil smile, and glared partly. Peter was on the verge of tears at this point.

"Did you find them?" Arthur asked, walking into the room to find what Alfred had walked into, except, instead of kissing, Ivan was clinging to Peter.

"So, goodbye," Arthur said and started to walk away. But, upon being grabbed by Alfred, he was pulled back.

"PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW WRONG THIS IS!" Alfred said in a mix of rage and some other unnamed emotion.

"This is what married people do," Peter said, recovering slightly, but instantly regretted the words. And at that, Alfred passed out.

**~After Al wakes up~**

"Pfft, I did not pass out. I simply…. Decided to go to sleep! Yeah that's it. Heroes do not pass out," Alfred attempted to cover up his failure.

"Yeah okay dad," Peter, whom was now fully clothed, said and chuckled.

"Yeah, talk when you're a nation, runt" Arthur said, causing Peter to pout.

"Talk when you're in someone else's dad's pants," Peter retorted.

"Young man what's gotten into you?" Alfred asked mortified.

"Ivan?" Peter questioned which caused his husband to chuckle.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol, yes, yes I did," Ivan smiled devilishly.

"Really, this was a bad idea! MY INNOCENT SON!" Alfred cried out.

"You know what?" Peter asked in general, everyone looked at him to continue, "All my life I've been good. But now? I'm thinking, what the hell?" Peter said and grabbed his _husband_ and ran up to their room, thus forth leaving his father in their living room, to go and _play._

* * *

><p>~ End Scene! Lawl, I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I can imagine Peter rebelling like that, cuz it's called puberty!<p>

~ If this chapter was too OOC please tell me and I'll try and fix it.

~ Review if you got time~!

~Bye bye!


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